There are times that I want to pull my wiring out so I can’t turn on. Now is one of those times and tomorrow is a day I would prefer to spend plugged into the Matrix, chowing down on tender, delicious, juicy steak.
Now it was last Tuesday evening that I received the news by electronic raven (dark wings, dark words) that he’s been seeing someone else and that’s really the only background info that’s necessary. I initially felt like the world had ended (This time, for ceetain) followed by self deprication. Then I got mad, then numb and I’ve caved and allowed my great talent for depression to weave its magic, binding my brittle emotions into one largely miserable one. Any other emotions are just tiny crumbs that shed off as the ball rolls around inside my body.
I had a stomach bug all weekend, the compact emotions have made me HIGHLY sensitive to constructive feedback at work and if you were to ask how I’m feeling right now I’d tell you to please put my responsibilities on freeze (as if they were a gym membership) and allow me time to recover. Not that you ever really recover from that kind of deep loss but scars do beat open wounds in these cases.