Nothing I Care To Deal With Right Now

To go back to a subject I prior touched upon a few blog posts ago, I was dogsitting for a woman I’ve dogsat for for YEARS. I’ve always done an A+ job and I love that dog more than any other. He’s recently been diagnosed with cancer and while I was sitting for him I called the vet because he was having constipation followed by accidents in the kitchen. The vet assumed it was his diet change that his owner had started and told me to feed him rice and make sure he was acting like himself. Well. He had gone upstairs while I was sleeping and pooped in one of the upstairs bedrooms. I didn’t smell anything nor was I aware he’d even think about going upstairs because he’s 11 and a half and doesn’t like doing stairs much anymore. When the owner came home the day after she sent me a rough message about ‘how could I let this happen’ and ‘I don’t even know what to say to you’ after I had apologized profusely and melted down.

Now we come to today. I was planning on waiting a couple weeks and asking her how the dog was. Instead I get a message from her about five minutes ago telling me “Taz is fine now. I know you meant well, but when you neglect you own well-being every thing else declines. If you’d showered, you would have seen the mess.” followed by some other “and another thing” statements. I was insulted she wouldn’t even think to ask if I had stopped home to shower and change clothes. So apparently I’m a disgusting piece of shit who does a bad pet sitting. So right now I’m speaking very emotionally. I don’t care if she ever hires me again. I’m far too insulted and humiliated from all the bullshit she’s spat at me the past two weeks to ever even want to see her again. Likely I’ll change my mind, but right now I’m pissed. And now I have to talk in my last day of group therapy tomorrow about this situation because I’m internalizing the situation all over again but now that no dog sitting job I’ll ever do will be good and I should quit doing it entirely. That’s how I feel right now. And I’m supposed to sit for a new client this coming week so I’d better adjust my thought reframe.

On another note, It was bittersweet leaving Sunny’s house. I tutored his kids for the 2 hours and Sunny didn’t pop his head in the room like he normally does, he didn’t come home until 7:30 and I was there from 6-8:30 annnddd they actually PAID ME ON TIME which was great, the mom was there too and the whole family made me sit down and eat cold taco bell and they also had me try some korean veggie thing that was fried and she sent me home with ‘starter’ chopsticks and seaweed. Every one of them hugged me and said that I raised their grades and that if at any time I can come back even if it’s not regular to help tutor them they’d like that and they said maybe we can go out to eat for Justin’s birthday which is in April, Justin was asking his dad if it was okay and Sunny was like ‘any time any time’ so it was cute. Much better than I expected. only thing that killed me was my back in that crappy chair they have to sit on in their room.

Lastly, I’m babysitting for 6 hours today, getting paid $30 when I should be paid $10/hour but since they’re friends of mine I haven’t opened my mouth yet to challenge anything because I don’t want to challenge our RELATIONSHIP. I’ve been babysitting for three years…The last time we had a falling out about what I should be getting paid I didn’t see the kids for months and only when I apologized for making waves in the waters did we mend our relationship. I don’t want to go through that again but I spend about $10 in gas and $2 in tolls going there and back every week. Their argument could be that when Tony was out of a job I came by every week just to visit, and didn’t get paid anything, so why not just accept what they’re paying me? My therapist and group think it’s unfair and that I should approach them about the situation. Unfortunately, I’m not mentally capable of facing that conversation tonight. It’s been a long day, and now I got the comment from Suzanne which has put me in a horrible mood.

Thanks for reading. I wanted to hold off to blog until tomorrow, my last day of day hospital, but this just got me up in arms.

4 thoughts on “Nothing I Care To Deal With Right Now

  1. ugh what frustration situations. i’m sorry. and i know it’s so hard to speak up for yourself, especially when people seem to always take our speaking up for ourselves in an attack against them. it’s not our fault though. we just have to do what is best for us.

  2. Babysitting for friends/family is always a chore. I babysit for my sister once or twice a month. I babysat my niece and nephew for 12 hrs and she didn’t give me anything. I even had to pay for their meals. Ugh. Not a good time.

  3. My kids and I have our own family business doing babysitting, house and pet sitting. Over many years I have learned that a lot (not all, but a lot) of people are very critical of everything we do or did not do. It’s like they have to remind us that they are the boss and we are the lowly servants or something. We always do the best we can and we try to not take it to heart if someone tries to make us feel bad. It can be very upsetting sometimes, though. Hang in there!

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