I’m really depressed. Not to be a whiny bitch, but this song completely sums up my current relationship status.
So you no longer care if there’s another day
I guess I have been there, I guess I am there now
You knew what you wanted and you fought so hard
Just to find yourself sitting in a golden cage
In a golden cage
So of course I miss you and miss you bad
But I also felt this way when I was still with you
Yes of course I miss you and miss you bad But I also felt this way when I was still with you
This city’s no longer mine
There’s sadness written on every corner.
Still in an emotional relationship with someone which seems to be going nowhere. But I’ve been in love with the guy for five years. So sadly, no one is going to be him at this stage of my emotional being. I’d rather be alone, but god I’m lonely right now. Being bipolar doesn’t help in the slightest, in fact it makes the depression ten times worse. He’s my best friend too, which hurts the most because we talk every day but there’s really nothing there, while he’s halfway across the country at least. It’s a different story when he’s back in town for months at a time, and I hope it is again when he comes back. I just really want to be with the person I love. Doesn’t everybody?
Thanks for listening to me blabber. I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while but just couldn’t face facts and write it all out, now I have. Took my ‘mental health day’ and all it ended up being was oversleeping and my car not working properly. I need to get it fixed but I tutor tomorrow so I’m hoping it’ll get me through tomorrow so I can get it to Pep Boy’s on Friday morning. One good thing that came out of the day was I talked to my favorite couple from Massachusetts on Mumble. I missed their voices and their company, and now we can all play World of Warcraft together again. They’re closer to me than my own family (sadly in some ways) but they kept me from feeling too lonely until the night rang and I woke up at 3am feeling miserable and missing my bear.