I ache

It’s that lingering Lyme disease discomfort that’s worse than normal. I’m also uneasy from the amount of attention I’ve been getting the past few days.

I’m Facebook friends with this tight knit group of girls from stats class now and aside from all the lighthearted group chat on Facebook today, YESTERDAY this one girl Maria wanted me to call her to talk about our paper (individual papers, one assignment). I totally groaned.

But I called her and we talked shop and it eventually came up that I’m bipolar and I told her a little about it and she asked some questions and told me a little about her own struggles and even though I was literally exhausted an hour and some minutes later getting off the phone with her I felt really good making a new friend.

Like all my fears about friends though I get scared making them because I’m afraid to lose them once that honeymoon period is over. Like I’ll be a huge disappointment.

Aside from all that, tomorrow is going to be really fun. I’m going to a 1 year old’s birthday party and that’s my jam. I’m so comfortable around little kids, particularly the ones that I consider family that I met when I first just used to babysit them (now I visit every week just to hang out with ma’ pa’ and the kids). After I have to go study with the girls from class, so hopefully I won’t look like a trainwreck after running around in a jungle gym for three hours.

And Misericordia never called me back, so no Direct Service Professional job…but I do have a promising opportunity at a nursing home. I just need to tweak my resume.

8 thoughts on “I ache

  1. I’m really glad you could make a new friend in the midst of not feeling well. I hope you feel better soon. Nursing homes are very nice places to work at, if you can handle the environment there. I grew up taking care of people all the time so I’d probably love something like that too. By the way, I love the animation at the end.

  2. Just be yourself. Don’t worry about whether or not you’re acquiring a new friend or if they’re simply going to be a wash. Most people are going to fall into the latter category, but it has nothing to do with you. It’s easy to take it personally, but you need to keep in mind that if a person doesn’t like you or doesn’t want to be friends, it’s THEIR loss, not yours. Plus, it opens up space for people of quality to come into your life and we ALL deserve quality friends. 🙂

  3. I feel very honor to be this girl Maria (aka psycho)! Just reading your blog made me feel very special, I have never felt this way before problally because I’m always trying to make my family & others feel good (you know my situation family wise) I can’t even recall the last time somebody took a few mns to listen to me and my struggles…I can’t tell you that this is a friendship to keep!:)

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