I originally thought all the signs were pointing in one direction until I moved a little and a bunch more signs read to go the other way. I’ve been lost in mixed episode wonderland where making decisions is a hard thing to do and my perception is bloated.
Tomorrow’s the day I plan on venturing into the health club I signed up for online this past week. The moment after I did it in my nice manic state the depression from regret kicked in and that dread of even having to cancel seemed to be too much to bare. I’d really love to get back in shape though. Gaining nearly 100lbs on Depakote after my manic episode that landed me in the hospital one year ago this month was a life-changing horrific event I’ve yet to remedy. I’ve lost maybe 20lbs total but there’s a LOT more to go. Thanks to hypothyroidism it’s a lot harder to lose weight and worse than that have energy to run around and lose the weight. One day at a time is the best I can do.
When taking my test tonight for my very important psych class, the professor said only to put our names on the front page so he doesn’t subconsciously grade with bias. I just imagined him having me in mind when he made the announcement as he knows I’m having a hard time and may even take into account how mania can affect your attention span and focus including during a test. Maybe I’m just being self centered, but I’d like to think it’s a sweet notion that I’m screwed up and special and he likes me.