I usually attribute sleep to escapism, but today I took a nap while my head was pulsating, and now I’m awake, anxious, and angry. It’s official that I’m having a mixed episode. The doctor wants to see me back in three weeks and has upped my Abilify by 10mg. I’m waiting for an e-mail back from school administration. It’s like I went swimming in a pool while I waited for the lifeguard to bring back my message, and the chemicals gave me a rash all over melding my feet into fins. The anxiety is this rash because I can’t do anything until I get the OK from the University, then I can make my next move. Until then I’m stuck in this already strained body.
Then I hear from my friend that one of the managers that barely has anything to do with me and my 2 shifts a week job, complained I “take too much time off”. She even explained to him that boss has been telling me to take time off when it’s slow so he doesn’t have to pay me, and now that manager is going to talk to him about making sure I work. I’m happy to be making money when I work, but it just pisses me off how he said it and what he infers, so any ‘excuses’ for not working won’t be had. Like I’m some kind of cancer you get from drinking the water by a factory that’s not up to standard. I hate him more every week. His attitude just wouldn’t fly with a regular HR department, but it’s a small business so I have to put up with the bullshit as it dumps on me. I applied again to Misericordia (link provided) which is where I want to work BEFORE and after I get my degree, working my way up from an aid to a case worker. If they hire me I’ll have no qualms about reducing my hours or quitting entirely which would be fantastic. I’d be working the graveyard shift at Misericordia, but I think I can deal with that.
I can’t wait until next week when I dog-sit so I can have my few days of vacation time, say goodbye to Chris before he leaves for the winter, and immerse myself in television dramas and drink a lot of yuppie brand lemonade. The people I’m dogsitting for over Thanksgiving officially have accepted me too or they wouldn’t have given me the key to their home. It’s such a nice place and they’re such nice people that I hope all goes smoothly and I can be their regular dogsitter. I’m sure next time around I’d be far less shy and awkward speaking with them. They said the dog likes me and she can be choosy so I should feel honored. I’ve heard that a handful of times over the decade I’ve been dogsitting and it never gets old.